Beauty, Fashion, Travel, Fitness, Wellness and Lifestyle Blog | Emtalks

Thursday, 24 August 2017

Life Changing Moments & People

You might click on this article and wonder what it’s about, it’s a different topic for me, but a personal post and one I think everyone will benefit from. I don’t really write about celebrities and I’ve certainly never written a whole post about one person before but today, that’s going to change. We live in a world where we moan, a lot (which is normal) but I'd like to spread some positivity and celebrate the good people and things in life. I want the world to know about a pretty special person called Dean Eastmond. I’m going to tell you a story, a story to motivate, inspire and hopefully, touch you. I’m going to introduce you to someone who has impacted so many lives and made me a better person and seriously, I think he will do the same to you too. I don’t think he even realises just how inspirational he is. I was lucky enough to meet Dean in Magaluf (don’t ask but without that trip, I may not even know Dean) and you know what, I always wish I got to know Dean more in the short time we had there. I don’t really know who I was back then, but I certainly wasn’t who I am today. Dean giggled along with us, danced along with us and I remember thinking how sweet and genuine he was. Luckily, thanks to social media, we've stayed in touch. It’s people like Dean who have helped to shape me into the person I am today. This post isn’t about me though, it’s about Dean but I genuinely believe he entered my life to change me and make me want to help others. Read more.

I’ve been through a lot in my lifetime, I guess that’s why I get so frustrated when I see people moaning about trivial things. We all do it, we argue over the stupidest of things, we get angry about irrational things and we cry sometimes too. It’s totally okay and you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t do that, but people like Dean help me put it all into perspective.

I’ve been fighting my own battles over the last few years, including domestic abuse, and watching the person closest to me go through depression and fight a terrible chronic illness every single day. A family friend was also brutally killed back when I was at Uni too and it’s obviously something that’s stuck with me. These are the kind of things that have helped to put my life into perspective. I strongly believe bad things happen in order to make us better people. They make us appreciate the small things in life. It’s funny, people judge you on social media and say ‘your life is so perfect’ and actually, they’re just seeing the filtered version of your life. Remember: you never know what battles someone is facing. Be kind.

Whilst I know the things above are bad, they’re things I deal with. I use them to make me a better person, to put life into perspective, to push more for my goals and dreams and mainly, channel it into helping others: e.g., how can I ensure no-one else struggles from depression and chronic illness? How can I give more of my time to people to help them out? How can I support other women (and men) with domestic abuse? Something a few years ago I wouldn’t of cared about but now I’m growing up and overcoming my own emotions and trauma, I’m ready to speak out and help others. I recognise that a little bit of love can go a long way. 

Dean is fighting cancer. I wish I could write as well as Dean can, because he could put across what I’m trying to say well better than I can, (so please excuse me, I'm a rambler) not only is he beautiful inside and out but goodness, he is an incredible writer too. So eloquent. 

I feel helpless because I’ve watched his story unfold over the last few years. I’ve cried, I’ve jumped for joy when things started looking up for him and I’ve thought about Dean more than I ever knew I could think about anyone. I once messaged him telling him how stupid it feels writing about fashion and how pointless and trivial it is when he’s sat in pain. But in true Dean style, he responded with grace and told me to keep doing it. That’s the thing about Dean, he sprinkles glitter wherever he goes.

Dean first struck a chord with me when I saw his work for the LGBT community. He was told he wasn’t allowed to freeze his sperm before cancer treatment because he’s gay (how is this even a thing?!?!?! shocked, angry, what?) and even though he was in so much pain at the time with his cancer, he fought and fought, getting articles into Buzzfeed and more, to get this message seen and to help others. I was outraged, I never even imagined it would be a thing. Even though Dean was incredibly ill, he sat and fought for the rights of others and put this first. Not all heroes wear capes and the work he’s done has been incredible, just a quick scroll of his Twitter will show you what he's achieved. Whilst I’m sat in bed in my pyjamas, Dean is just saving the world basically. King, hero, ultimate babe. 

Dean and I are in the same age group, and he’s honestly done more good in the world than most 40 year olds (no offence 40 year olds) and the best metaphor I can think of is glitter, he really does spread sass, glitter and that fight wherever he goes. He motivates me to push through with my dreams, work hard, love more and just be a good human. For some reason, when I was at a festival recently, coated in glitter, Dean came to mind. He's definitely someone who just lights up everyone around him. My brother has never met Dean and even my brother said he can’t believe how much Dean has achieved in such a short space of time. We need to celebrate that and we definitely need more people like Dean in our world.

Sadly in August, Dean’s tumour spread from a 2cm lump to his whole body (I don’t want to talk about the details because cancer does not define Dean, it’s cruel, it’s wrong and I get angry about cancer every day, in my opinion, it shouldn’t exist in 2017 and my friend definitely shouldn’t be fighting it). He is a real life angel, even when he found out about the news, he tweeted and said ‘tell your mum you love her tonight, forgive that petty argument with your boyfriend, make an effort to see your friends more. Life is so precious, so special and so important to make sure every second counts’ and he’s right. These words will stand with me forever and trust me, I’m living by them. I almost want to print them out so they’re constantly engraved somewhere. I want to shout it at people when I see them arguing. I want to tell them to live their life to the full, enjoy it and never give up on their dreams. Dean and all the bad stuff that's happened this year has taught me that life is too short. It’s too short to argue with who you love and it’s certainly too short to sweat the small stuff. I think of Dean every day and I remember this. 

I could go on forever about the things Dean has achieved. Did I mention he owns HISKIND, his own LGBTQ+ lifestyle magazine which is in print and stocked in shops? It’s seriously impressive. I struggle some mornings to even put my socks on the right way but Dean battles cancer whilst running a successful business, being madly in love with his gorgeous boyfriend, protecting the LGBT community and more. Even though he's suffering, he still makes me laugh and smile with his witty, humorous tweets. When we were texting, he still asked how my brother is, even though he's in pain, he really is so selfless. 

Every time Dean writes about his pain and discomfort it hurts my heart because there is nothing I can do. I think feeling helpless is the worst thing and if Dean was well enough right now, I’d have him on a flight to Bali first thing tomorrow to have the time of his life. My good friend Scarlett is also amongst the millions who adore Dean (srsly, so many people adore him, it makes me feel warm when I see how many people are cheering him on) and we want to do something so special for him but we honestly feel like nothing we do could be special enough for a person who has done so much for so many people.

The way Dean’s little brother is growing up is a testament to Dean too, seeing the cute things Dean tweets about him actually makes my life. What an actual cutie. 

It’s not just me who knows how great Dean is, he picked up an Attitude Pride award too, oh so casually for his epic work.

I guess what I’m trying to say is Dean inspires more people in one day than most do in a lifetime. Despite everything, he's still helping others, being his hilarious self and making the world a better place. This blog isn't just a space to talk about fashion and beauty, but it's a space to talk about life changing people, inspirational stories and things or people that have struck a chord with me. Next time you're having a bad day, or see someone in pain, be more Dean. What would Dean do? He'd go above and beyond to help others.

I wanted to publish this to let you know Dean, that you have saved so many of us with your courage, bravery and determination because I know I speak for a lot of people when I say this. I honestly do not have the words and cannot possibly think of the right gesture to tell you just how much you have helped so many of us. I think sharing your story, sharing your social profiles and your website is the best way to help others too, so they can feel the 'Dean effect' and also be inspired too. I can’t explain how many times a day you pop into my head as my inspiration to work harder, push further or just be a better person. You make me realise that no dream is too big and your bravery astounds me every single day. The fight you put up, the sass and sense of humour inside you and the kindest heart. You are selfless and when I ‘grow up’ I want to be like you Dean Eastmond. You’ve inspired me more than words can say.

Keep being incredible. You make the world a better place.

All my love in the world, Em x

You can check out Dean's website here. Please do, read his journey!!!! 

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