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Saturday, 10 March 2018

Patting Ourselves On The Back, Self-Love

gucci beltJumper / Jeans / Coat / Gucci Belt / Sunglasses 

I've got better at ensuring I'm following positive people who motivate me, inspire me and make scrolling through my social feeds a total joy. I got to a stage where I felt anxious refreshing social media because it can be quite a negative, passive aggressive and indirect place. As an over-thinker, it isn't good for my mind some days. I completely understand that often, social media doesn't portray real life, it's a highlights reel and it's no-one has a perfect, happy life all the time. Therefore, moaning is completely allowed, the odd rant here and there, sometimes we just have a bad day, or, something annoys us. I was once told to 'never be negative on social media' and as much as I'm trying to follow positive people (for my own mind), I do think it's quite damaging to pretend everything is okay all the time, we all struggle and we are all fighting battles people may know nothing about.  It's all about being able to put it into perspective later down the line. When a family friend died, I struggled with this for quite some time. If anyone was moaning or, if I was moaning, I'd break down and feel insane guilt for well, moaning. I'd tell myself 'they'd do anything to be here, in this situation' but I realised that we can't beat ourselves up with guilt. Sometimes, we just have a bad day. No-one is perfect. So yeh, I'm guilty of having a Twitter rant on the odd occasion and so are many others. Today, I thought I'd write a blog post all about why we shouldn't be afraid to pat ourselves on the back and why some self-lovin is very important plus, my tips to embrace self-love. 

topshop popcorn jumper

Braggy? Arrogant? Narcissistic? Just a few of the words I've seen used to describe people recently who talk about themselves/post self-love/self-praise or even vlogs. As much as I believe in the phrase 'work hard in silence and let success be your noise' because, let's be honest, no one wants to know how busy you are all the time, it is totally okay to pat yourself on the back and be proud of your achievements, don't let anyone tell you any different. The world can be a negative place and a little bit of positivity goes a long way. I sat down for lunch with IT Cosmetics recently and we all had to go around the table and talk about the things we like about ourselves. I'm telling you, it's difficult. I noticed rather than anyone saying 'I love my legs' 'I love my smile', everyone focused on things they do for others, for example 'I'm a loyal friend' and 'I see my grandparents as much as possible'. We are so quick to feel guilty, beat ourselves up and moan about what we don't like about ourselves but when do we just stop and think, okay, I did good. I'm proud of myself or damn girl, legs are looking good. Yes, I was a good friend. It's difficult though, we feel guilty if we are negative on social media and are accused of moaning or ranting and then we feel guilty if we are showing self love, self-promotion or positivity. It's all about having a happy medium: it's important to use your voice and show that there are real issues going on in life but it's also important to show that whilst life looks perfect for many on social media, for many it isn't. It makes others feel better then too as they realise they're not alone in their struggles or battles. So many of us struggle with this and self-love is so important too. Let's talk. 

It's okay to be proud of yourself - It really is okay to be proud of yourself. Please don't let anyone put you off. I saw quite a few nasty tweets going around regarding bloggers asking for nominations in the Blogosphere awards. In my opinion, if someone is proud of their work and wants to be nominated, then you go glen coco. If someone has the balls to actually come forward and say, wow, I worked hard and I'd love to be recognized with an award then so be it, well done for them for having the courage to say that, please don't shoot them down. It doesn't make you 'beggy' or braggy, it just means you're excited about how hard you've worked and want the world to know. Whether you have a little jiggy in private because you're proud of an achievement or, tweet about it. It's good to be proud of yourself. 

Don't disregard your achievements - I see so many people disregard their achievements. It's so important to realise that something may seem really small to you, but it could be huge to someone else and vice versa.  We all have different stories, different journeys and we all have a different vision of what success looks like. We have all been through different things and we all have different challenges. Never put your own achievements down against someone else's. 

It's okay to support others - Self-love is good but it's also good and so important to support others. Seeing others doing well only makes me want to work harder, I use it as a fire in my belly and motivation, rather than letting it manifest into comparison or envy. Supporting and genuinely complimenting others makes not just the other person but it makes me feel good too. It's nice to be nice and it's so easy to make someone's day. Why are you scrolling past someone's exciting achievement? If you have the time, say well done, give it a like. I promise, it'll make you feel fab. I was always told to try and compliment someone at least once a day, it makes you and them feel great too. You feel good knowing that you've made someone's day. Remember these quotes: Blowing out someone else's candle won't make yours shine brighter. You can't build yourself up by tearing someone down. 

Write down a list of things you love about yourself - Sit with a friend and write down all the things you love about yourself. What are your best qualities? Are you loyal? Are you kind? Are you caring? Are you thoughtful? Rather than focusing on the parts we don't like, e.g, I'm an overthinker and I don't like my arms, what do you like? Do you like your legs? Your smile? Focus on it and own it. Positivity wins. Then, jump in the bath, put a face mask on, read a book, take some me time. Or, go to the gym, go for a walk. There are so many things that make my body, mind and soul feel amazing: sweating at the gym, a steamy bath and a face mask. 

Write down a list of things you have achieved - Grab a diary or a journal and write down the things you have achieved, no matter how big or how small. This is personal to you. You'll see how far you've come or, maybe you'll wanna push a little harder. It's such a good way to be like 'okay, yes, I have achieved stuff, I need to stop knocking myself or comparing'. You are your power, no two journeys or people are the same. 

Write down a list of things you hope to achieve - Then write down what you'd like to achieve, whether it's this week, this month or this year. Keep looking back at your list and tick it off. No matter how big or small, again, this is personal and I find lists help me to feel motivated, inspired and on track. It also means on bad days, you can look back and see how far you have come. 

So there we have it, I hope this blog post helps you in some way, whether you decide to take a look at your achievements or take some well deserved me-time. I promise you've come further than you imagined and probably got through challenges you never thought you'd get through. Or, whether you are gonna start focusing on your positive points rather than the negative points, I just hope this post helps in some way.

What do you like about yourself? Have you set your self a list of goals this year? Nothing pushes me more than positive goals. 

You might also like:

10 things you might need to hear today 
How to be a blogger 

Lots of love, Em x



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