Beauty, Fashion, Travel, Fitness, Wellness and Lifestyle Blog | Emtalks

Friday, 2 May 2014

Why Happiness Matters... The Guide To Happy

Hello everyone, so this is a really different blog post from me today but it's something I've wanted to write for quite a while now. Earlier this week I went for lunch with an old friend of mine and we were discussing the idea of happiness. What actually is happiness and is it the most (or one of the most) important things in life? What is happiness to me and is my idea of happiness different to your idea of happiness? Everyone is different right...? I decided to write a feel good post for people to look at when they're feeling down, something which will hopefully always make you feel good about yourself and realise that there's always someone in a worse situation than you, who would do anything to be in your position. I'm not saying that any of this is right, I'm hardly the queen of happiness but hopefully this will help some people turn a sad day into a happy day, sometimes put things into perspective and see that really, there is always something to smile about. I hope you enjoy this post and I'd like to dedicate it to a good friend of mine (you know exactly who you are)...

What is 'happy'? Everyone has a different idea of what happy is, no-one is the same, we are all unique. For some people, happiness is seeing their family, for some people, happiness is eating chocolate, for some people they are happy when they do well on an assignment, some people are easily pleased, a text message is enough to make someones day but for others, happiness is completely different. Basically, you can't really define what happiness is, but everyone knows when they're feeling happy.

An apparently definition of happy is: feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. Take a second to think about a moment when you were really happy, truthfully, really happy. For me, a moment which stands out to me as 'happy' is when I jumped out of a kayak in Vietnam, we were in the middle of nowhere, after rowing through caves and we came out in the most beautiful, blue lagoon and then, like we had no fears in the world, we jumped into jelly-fish ridden waters. I felt so care free and nothing else mattered, for that few minutes, all that mattered was how beautiful the world was around me and how alive I felt. I just swam in the water taking in the beautiful sky, the beautiful surroundings and feelings truly blessed to have felt so alive. 

Happiness and health, everything else will follow. Me and my friend actually came to the conclusion that as long as you're happy, what else matters? Surely happiness and health are paramount in life and as long as you have those two things, everything else should follow. It's easier said than done, but it takes less muscles to smile than it does to frown. Everyone has bad days, but I always try to think to myself 'it's just a bad day, not a bad life' and then I also think, it doesn't matter anyway because 'rainy days make flowers'. It's extremely hard to turn something which seems like such a negative into a positive, sometimes we have negative days and in reality they're really not negative at all in the grand scheme of things. When we look back in a years time, we will remember that moment? Probably not. Sometimes you just have to put things into perspective. I remember I was feeling extremely hormonal once (we all know how hormones have the ability to ruin our moods) and I just burst out crying, everything felt like it was way too much and I had a major emotional breakdown - I then sat and thought, there are so many people who would do anything to be in my position, those young and innocent people who have lost their lives and shouldn't have. I then started thinking about someone close to my family who lost their life too young and felt guilty for even shedding a single tear over something meaningless. All I could think is: he would do anything to be here crying over a stupid University essay. So now, I try to look at things differently. Obviously I have been through things in my life which really have helped me put things into perspective, a few years ago, I didn't really think like this at all, I guess I just got on with my days like most people do. I do feel like sometimes, you do need to lose someone or unfortunately go through something really bad in order to come through the other side stronger and see life in a different way. 

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. This is one of my favourite sayings of all time. I know a few people with severe anxiety who are extremely close to me and this is what I say to them, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Beat anxiety, grab it with both hands and kick it really hard. If something scares you, go out and do it, if something makes you nervous, all the more reason to go and pursue that. I can't pretend that I understand exactly how they're feeling because I don't, everyone is different and everyone feels happiness and sadness differently, but I do believe that when something bad hits you, turn that negative energy into positive energy. Again, it's easier said than done but sometimes, if you can do that, it will make you so much happier. I have a few personal examples of this but I don't want to go into my personal life too much so instead, I'll give you a different example. When I was at school, everyone laughed at me for having a blog, I was probably the laughing stock of my 6th form, people would snigger 'haha Em talks...' 'what you talking about today Em' and whilst that sounds like harmless banter, they were laughing at me behind my back and it really did ruin my confidence knowing that every time I posted something I'd be relentlessly mocked. Instead of quitting my blog, which I've seen a fair few people do because of nastiness from their 'closest' friends, I just continued to write and I'm so glad I did. If something makes you happy, it doesn't matter what other people say. Find people who accept you for you and stick with them.

happiness guide

Be Happy. Not because everything is good but because you can see the good in everything. I'm not saying that everything is good, trust me, I know that really really bad things happen and I've been through it as I'm sure most people have in their life, but, if you can try to sometimes see the good in everything, it does help. 

Before Alice could go to wonderland, she had to fall really hard. A common thing which makes me upset is feeling like I'm not achieving enough, then I remind myself of Alice in Wonderland, she had to fall really hard didn't she? Obviously, that's just a story, but I try to look at quotes and they do genuinely help. I also constantly remind myself not to compare my chapter 1 to someone else's chapter 20 but then I remind myself, life isn't a competition, we should all work together. 

A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. Don't worry if life isn't going smoothly, everything happens for a reason and life has a funny way of making things work out.

Do more of what makes you happy. If you find something that makes you happy, grab it with both hands and don't let it go. If that thing is chocolate, eat it and don't beat yourself up about it - chocolate is good for the soul (I think so anyway). If that thing is friends, go and see your friends more. If that thing is animals? Get a pet bunny.
Everyone has made mistakes. Do not let mistakes define you, build a bridge, move on and see them as a way of learning. Nobody is perfect. Not even Beyonce. 

Don't let your happiness be controlled by something you can't control.

Everyday may not be good, but there is some good in every day. Well, to begin with, you woke up this morning, which already makes the day a good day, as mentioned some people would do anything just to be alive. When you put it like that and realise that you're alive, kicking and breathing, that's enough to make you smile and get on with living your dreams.

If Plan A didn't work, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet, play it cool and don't worry. There's no right or wrong way to live life, even though society sometimes make us feel like that. The whole size 0 debate, the fact that we're forced through education for our whole childhood, none of that matters, just live your life the way you want to live it. It doesn't matter what dress size you are, it doesn't matter if you didn't go to University, everyone is different.

Someone is happy with less than you have. This is another favourite quote of mine.

Today is the perfect day to start living your dreams. Why can't you do it? No dream is too big and I truly do believe that, the world is your oyster. If today didn't go well, don't worry, wake up tomorrow feeling fresh and start again. 

Stop waiting for Friday: For Summer, for someone to fall in love with, for life. Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it and make the most of the moment you're in now. Live for today.

Happiness comes when we stop complaining about the troubles we have and say thanks for the troubles we don't have. 

It's easier said than done. Finally, don't start worrying about happiness now, it's easier said than done to just be happy all the time, no-one is happy all the time, it's human nature for us to sometimes get sad and sometimes get angry, we all get moody sometimes (if you don't get moody, please tell me your secret) but sometimes, you've just got to take a step back, breathe and realise that actually, the world isn't that bad. There are so many reasons why you should go out and be happy today, live your life like there's no tomorrow because life really is too short to be anything but happy.


I hope you liked this post, please feel free to tell me what makes you happy in the comments below, I'd love to know! Please also feel free to tell me any quotes that make you happy. I'd love to know your thoughts on this post. Remember, I'm not saying that any of this is right or wrong, I just wanted to share some of these quotes and ideas with you - here's to happiness!

Lots of love, Em x

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  1. Happiness is a tricky thing..everyone craves it, but few really know what it is..I feel like people nowadays want to be happy but put so much pressure on it! I'm totally like a kid and I feel people should be more like this...I explain: Kids get happy over the smallest things...the walk in the park, bird watching or even just spending a day in front of

    1. Yeah! I agree, that's why I said at the end, just go with the flow really, don't worry now into making yourself feel happy, just like go with it and what will be will be :) x

  2. I love posts like this and I've been following people's 100 Happy Days posts as well. This has been one of the worst years for me so far but just because horrendous things are happenning it doesn't mean that life is all doom and gloom. You need to take the little wins where you can find them and then soon you'll be working your way up to bigger ones.

    Great post, thank you!

    Jaq @

    1. Aw thank you so much, ooo I'm gonna check those out, haven't heard about them! Yeah, I agree completeleeey! xxx

  3. As someone that doesn't chase happiness and a firm believer that it's better to chase fulfilment rather then happiness, I did try to read this post with an open mind. You made some excellent points, however, I still don't believe that chasing happiness is a good thing.That aside, I love the energy of this post, it's awesome that you took the time to post something just to put a smile on people's faces. That is highly admirable so thank you for that. You are excellent at what you do.

    1. Hey Hayley, it's great to hear from you so thank you so much for your comment. I do strongly believe that fulfilment = happiness, I guess they're pretty much the same thing, when I feel fulfilled, I am happy. I hope that makes sense, thank you so much, as mentioned in the post I'm not saying that the above is correct, I just want to put a smile on peoples faces and show them that it's good to be happy. I wouldn't particularly say that chasing happiness is a bad thing, but again I wouldn't ever say someone should 'chase happiness' as such. Thank you for your kind words, I really hope it puts a smile on peoples faces x

    2. Hi Em, thank you so much for your reply, now that you have explained it, that makes a lot of sense, thank you for taking the time to reply. I believe that fulfilment and happiness are different things, but we are all unique and have different takes on things. You have a really lovely blog and youtube channel and I am sure that you are putting smiles on peoples faces. :) x

    3. Hi Em, I felt really awful because I don't feel like I explained myself very well in my above comments, so here is the link to the post I just did about happiness and why I believe it is different to fulfilment. I know you are busy or may not be interested and that is fine, I do understand but just encase you are interested here it is. I am the kind of person that likes to come across as lovely and friendly and just genuinlly out to help and care about people, that is not how I feel I came across in my previous comments so I do apologise for that. Anyway thanks again for commenting back the other day and all the best with your future blogger/youtube goals.

    4. Aw don't be silly AT ALL! I will have a read of that, don't worry at all! Everyone is different and it's a bit of a touchy topic, you don't need to apologise what so ever :) Thank you so much, same to you x x x x

  4. Some people really like to put down other, because their actually jelous!
    I bet you're glad you carried on blogging! Those people that put you down probably look stupid now x


    1. People thrive from putting others down! Thank you so much hehe xxx

  5. Aww this is so lovely to read. I can't tell you the amount of times I deleted an attempt at a blog because people took the mick - wish I'd have had your strength then!

    My motto for happiness is 'hate something, change something' - I'm always telling friends that theres no reason to keep doing something that makes you miserable just because it's comfortable. xx

    1. Aw thank you so so much - yep it took a lot of strength but its worth it! I love that, I really do xx

  6. I love this post! I am so guilty of comparing myself to others and when I went to uni I became even more guilty of it. It ruined my self esteem and the more I felt not as good/pretty/thin/clever as my friends who was I comparing myself to, the worse I felt. I have recently trying to do my own thing, become comfortable in my own skin and also be great in my own way! I think you are the same age as me so I am sure you relate to the whole shift of moving to Uni and feeling uncomfortable to what you are used to, it is a massive transition and a (maybe sad) part of growing up I guess...

    Like I said, I love this post and love your blog xxxx

    1. Aw thank you so much - yep that's my biggest thing easily! That's so good to hear, aw thank yo uso so much that is so kind of you xxx

  7. Really great post Em, I left a job I hated last September and decided not to go to uni and I'm happy with all the time I've had to find what I love and appreciate. Sure, I get down and frustrated about life and what I'm doing, or should be doing or what others think I should be doing, but I remember I've had more freedom than others and have probably learnt more lessons than some of my friends.
    Really great vibes, I love positive messages, keep up the fab work !
    Lauren x
    Britton Loves | Fashion Lifestyle + Photography -

    1. Aw thank you so much - that's so good to hear! Once you've done that, you've cracked it! xxx

  8. Another great, insightful post!

  9. this is such a lovely and thoughtful post. The quotes you have used are so insightful. Thank you for this. <3 it would be amazing if you could check out my latest blog? :)

  10. Inspiring post
    L x

  11. Inspirational! Love your posts! x

  12. Hi Em,

    I've recently discovered your blog and just want to say how much I love it! You clearly put a lot of work into each post,which makes it great to read :)

    Ella x


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