Hey everyone! So today I wanted to write a personal post. Today was one of those days where I just got home and cried and that hasn't happened in a long time. I've had to build up a resilience to things so tend to be quite numb sometimes but today all my emotions came out - thank gosh because sometimes you just need to cry. It's really hard to be strong all the time. I've been through things in my past and it's made me put up this kind of guard which isn't always a good thing. This post went live and I freaked out, got scared so reverted it to a draft but it's back now. Phew. I haven't written a personal post for quite some time but today I just wanted to be honest with you I guess. It's quite a quick post as I want to keep things as short as I can ahhh. So much has gone on in my life over the past few months and I haven't really discussed it on social media because even though I discuss a lot of my life on social media, there are parts of it I choose not to discuss. It's weird really, I put my life on the internet but I guess we choose which parts we share and which parts we don't share. I try my hardest to be positive on Twitter and social media but sometimes, it isn't all positive so I wanted to just be a little bit honest with you guys today and touch on what's been going on in my life recently and talk about how it's a new chapter now! I actually love this time of year, it feels like so many fresh starts are happening and I've made myself a few goals too!
- Blogging - Let's talk about my space on the internet first! I made the decision in January to go full time with my blog but I never really announced it. Everyone seems to announce the whole 'full time blogging thing' but I never really did that. University just wasn't fulfilling me like it should have done and I was in a little bit of a rut. I was actually really unhappy. I just wanted to travel, photograph, write, meet new people and find myself. It sounds so cliche to say 'I wanted to find myself'. But I did. I'd never really put myself into any scary situations which is why I decided to step on a plane alone and fly miles away from my loved ones. It's the best decision I ever made. I've always followed the standard road: school->high school->college->university and you know what, it felt good to rebel for once in my life and just do something wild (this is as wild as I get). I felt like such a boring person sticking to the 'norm' (you're not boring if you stick to the norm by the way, it just really wasn't for me). You can read more about my whole experience moving out of my comfort zones etc on this blog post here if you missed that but I discuss why I needed to jump on a plane and how it changed me etc. Blogging is a funny one, in January I focused more on finding myself and making myself happy. For me, happiness, health and family are key and I've never really just focused on myself. It's only really now though that I've figured out what I want my content to be like so this is a promise from me, I promise to put more effort into producing quality content for you at all times as I feel like the quality of my content slipped recently. I'd love to know what you love about EmTalks and what you hate. So talk to me! Your comments/emails/tweets make my day. So thank you.
- LVNDR - As most of you know, I own the shop LVNDR. LVNDR is my baby and I have so many ideas for it but there just aren't enough hours in the day. I want to make my blog as successful as possible whilst doing LVNDR too but it is so difficult to juggle the two (success for me isn't measured by numbers, it's measured by quality content, loyal readers and happiness). LVNDR has been really difficult to run whilst running EmTalks full time. It's been like having two full time jobs, not to mention trying to fit a long-term relationship and social life in-between it all too (but I wouldn't change my job for the world, so I'm not going anywhere, promise). I really like to put my whole heart 100% into everything I do which is why my brother is currently working away so hard at LVNDR alongside myself. Sometimes you just cannot do it all alone! Our new site is live now and I couldn't be more excited to share it with you as we have worked so hard on it! You can see my blog post all about it here and see the new site here too! I cannot thank you enough if you've checked out our new site, given us feedback or bought something from the store. It means the world to me. I hope we can keep delivering beautiful pieces for you!
- Boys - Uh, the dreaded word. Boys. The male species. To be honest, I could write a full blog post about this and kind of intend on doing so. This is something I'm not really comfortable talking about on my blog but I feel like I need to address it because if you've read my blog closely or for a long time, you'll have noticed a certain male was mentioned on pretty much every post. I share my life with you guys so naturally I used to drop his name into a few posts. My readers (you reading this right now - thank you) are my life! You're my friends, you listen to me and help me. I write for you guys and I feel like you know me so I feel like I owe it to you to let you know that we are no longer together. I try not to mention boyfriends on my blog purely because I like to keep that little bit of my life private. I don't think I ever even put photos of us on social media either (or if I did, it was very rare), just because I chose to keep that to myself and I'm not really one of those people who wants the world to know about my boyfriend. I was accused a few times of having a 'sugar daddy' because I never mentioned my boyfriend on social media. That is just ridiculous and disgusting but I don't want to give these internet trolls any fuel... just because someone works hard and chooses not to discuss her very long term boyfriend on social media, it really doesn't mean she has a sugar daddy.
- The Break Up - I have strayed away from mentioning the fact that at the start of June I actually broke up with my long term boyfriend and best friend. Only few people know about this (well, the whole world knows now). I am a very private person and I personally am still feeling a little deflated from the whole thing. Break ups are never nice, even if you were the person who did it. I won't go into facts as that's not fair on anyone but I am a big believer in 'what's meant to be will find it's way'. I felt like I owed it to you guys to be honest and let you know that I am going through a break up so sorry if for the past few months I haven't really been 'me'. It's something I really haven't wanted to discuss anywhere and honestly haven't told really anyone about it. I'm back now, promise! It just felt so weird not telling any of my readers that I had broken up from my long term relationship so I'm glad to have that off my chest now. It's really really weird to go from having someone in your life all day every day, to not at all but life is a crazy thing isn't it? The good news is, I am feeling happy and honestly, life isn't about feeling mediocre, it's about feeling happy and living life to the full. Never forget that.
- University - Study wise, I'm going to be continuing blogging full time as well as finishing my degree (finally) part time. I'm hoping I can juggle the two (three with LVNDR too) but my blog will always come first no matter what and the travels certainly won't stop. Once you start travelling, it's tough to stop! Luckily I'm only in University once/twice a week so I think I'll be able to power through it, somehow. I feel incredibly lucky that over the past few weeks I've been invited to do a number of talks to students about blogging, social media and running businesses. I absolutely love talking to like minded people so University really has helped me in that respect.
- Home - I currently live between two places (my apartment in the city centre and my home) so if you see my background changing on photos/Instagrams/Snapchats it's just because I live between two places! I don't want to cause any confusion haha! You can follow me on Instagram/Snapchat, my username is @emshelx and you can always see what I'm up to! Naturally I'm always tweeting away too (@emshelx). I absolutely love home. As much as I love travelling, I am a home bird. My Mum and my brother mean everything to me so I love nothing more than going home. At the same time though, I'm quite independent so I do love having my own flat with my own space too.
- Positivity/Like Minded-People - I'm trying to be more of a positive person and spend my time with more like-minded people! Obviously it's great to have all different types of people in your life but I've found that hanging around with like-minded individuals really inspires me and makes me feel so much more positive!
I feel like I grow and learn new things every single day. That's the best thing about life and this crazy world. Every single day is different and I actually feel blessed to wake up every morning (no matter how stressed I am!). I've definitely become more of a relaxed person in the sense that I've stopped trying to please everyone, I'm putting (a little) less stress on myself, I'm forcing myself to have breaks too! You know what they say though, 'You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the bunch and there's always going to be someone who doesn't like peaches'. Basically, life is too short so live it to the fullest and do what makes you happy at the end of the day. Stay positive, work hard, make it happen but also, help others along the way. We can all work together!
Remember, life is about balance. We're in it together so let's stick together and share the love!
Special lil shout out to Victoria, Scarlett, Gabi and Kayleigh who have stood by me through all this craziness. I feel blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful friends.
How do you feel about my blog? Do you like anything/dislike anything? Do you agree with anything I've said above or have you gone through anything similar?
Lots of love, Em x
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